Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
