That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
