I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
