i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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