I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
