I want to stick my p in your. b.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
