we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
