I showed him my bush... on skype.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
