never play flip cup with pint glasses
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
