How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
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Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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