I think my vagina is haunted
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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