i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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