it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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