My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
why is half of my head shaved?
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