I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
