maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Randomize
