Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
