Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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