i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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