Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
