About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
