I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
