we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize