The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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