Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize