we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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