never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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