Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
babies were throwing up all over the place
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
