I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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