Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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