Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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