Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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