her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
