Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
