Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Pooping to opera.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
