My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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