Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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