So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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