i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
