hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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