Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I had to cum in my sink.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
