Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Panties = found
Randomize
