dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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