I love black thongs
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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