Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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