I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
