u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
