Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
