well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
