I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
