During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
