You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
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He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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