So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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