Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
