I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
