you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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