Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
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I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
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Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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