Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
