the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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