just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
