i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
