shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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