I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
