Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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