My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
