my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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