never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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