Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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