i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
