you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
