it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
